Doppelgänger

Posted: February 23, 2016 in Uncategorized

Dear Ghost,

This past weekend I spent a shift observing in the ER and helping with things that are within my scope at the EMT-B level. One of the physician assistants there reminded me so strongly of you that I thought he might be a relative. I probably stared a bit. I actually even checked the last name on his uniform to see if it was the same as yours. It wasn’t.

I think I wanted it to be, to some extent. Wanted that feeling of recognition, of some connection, however small. In the flash of impressions/feelings/awareness that all came together in an instant, like a lightningcrack so close the thunder’s almost immediate, I missed you; I remembered you; I wondered where you are, if I’ll ever see you again; I hoped a little, though not so hard as I used to; I wished you well.

I’m doing well. I would have liked the chance to tell you of my adventures so far, maybe even for you to have seen the changes in me firsthand. “Changes” almost feels like a misnomer there; I am feeling so much like myself these days. Regardless, I would have liked to show you that ER through my eyes, confident that something similar about the way we see the world would have enabled you to see it and appreciate it even if I weren’t all that articulate.

Well, there’s no more to that story, really, and I have much more work to do, and this is enough talking to myself and pretending you’re listening for tonight. Wherever you happen to be, be well.

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