Mind-Noise When All Is Quiet

Posted: October 27, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Some days, the lesson is simply that I am not entirely “over this,” yet. Yesterday, I did a little editing and managed to make myself some food, but mostly I just played Mass Effect 3 and let my eyes run over words and images while thinking away. Some days I spend just feeling lonely in the quiet. I sit with it, walk the hardwood floor with it, stare at the to-do list with my mind’s eye until I accept that this will not be the hyper-productive day I could really use. These are days when it’s nearly useless to try to get work done, particularly anything hinting of drudgery. I consider going out but decide not to. The animal comfort of sitting surrounded by people would help with focus, since drowning out their sound takes just enough effort that the mind’s noise goes with it… but sometimes, that “noise” is the point. If a person can sit with it long enough, it starts to shape itself into patterns, into words. This is not a thing to run away from.

*         *         *

So, I found out today that Diane Birch has just released a new album. I’m listening to it now, for the second time through. After yesterday’s quiet turns ’round the apartment, it feels good — a sort of relief — to have music that’s resonant, resonating, filling the space.

Diane Birch Speak A Little Louder

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Comments
  1. LJ says:

    I, too, found myself in a restlessness albeit not involving mass effect 3…avoiding “drudgery” due to overwhelmed feelings regarding school and work. I went to the mall, cooked dinner, basically anything to avoid. Glad you are giving yourself space in the process. Small victories are where it’s at.

  2. gfizz says:

    Best wishes. If you have time, let’s catch up when you have a chance.

  3. anaraug says:

    ME3 was pretty good, but the only one I see myself replaying is ME2. For the most part, video games are what I’m into when I’m not really doing very well mentally. Which really kind of stinks because I can’t properly enjoy a game.

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